It’s noteworthy that I don’t like to talk about my own story here—you know, the one about being 36 and single. Especially since my first book for single women is now 70% complete. The book feels genuine. It’s about the journey God designed for me. How I’ve learned to find my value in his eyes and see myself as he sees me. It’s about how single women can learn to believe the truth and reject the lies.

Blogging about being single, however, is not one of my favorite things to do. At writers’ conferences, they tell me to build a platform—to build a following of single women. But I don’t want to be known as the single, Christian girl who blogs about dating. Sure, I have hilarious dating stories. That’s what happens when you’ve been dating for the past 20 years.

The problem is . . . I don’t like labels. My marital status doesn’t define who I am. Married or single, we’re all waiting on something. God chose a unique journey for each of us. We’re all tempted to believe lies every day. Ultimately, each of us must decide whether we’re going to fully trust God or place our faith in something (or someone) else.

Regardless of my marital status, each day I make a choice.

Today, I choose Truth:

I am valuable to God.

There is nothing wrong with me.

I am a beautiful woman made in God’s image.

My past can be forgiven. My mistakes will be redeemed.

God will not forget about me.

God is faithful, good, sovereign, and He loves me more than I can ever imagine.

 What will you choose to believe?

The Lord is good to those whose hope is in him, to the one who seeks him;
 it is good to wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord.
Lamentations 3:25-36 (NIV)

Content and Photo Copyright 2012. Allison K. Flexer @ Anointed With Grace.
Photo, quote, and design by Allison K. Flexer.


Filed under Faith, God, Singleness, Waiting, Who is God?, Writing

13 responses to “Choices

  1. This is great! God changed my plans for my blog topic on Friday, and I’ve heard from people who said it was just the reminder they needed. He rocks! Thanks for sharing and allowing yourself to be a vessel for Him.

  2. Don

    Perseverance is a quality which comes from above. It develops faith. I think the Lord cares a great deal more about our hearts than our circumstances and the journeys we all persevere through should be celebrated as James spoke, “Count it all joy when you fall into trials of various kinds. For the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Perseverance produces character and character hope.”

    I had this journey many times in different areas of my life. It is part of the vow we took to Christ when we said, “Yes, I do.”

    One thing I do know is that He who loves you, me and every believer is doing a good work in us and it will not disappoint.

    Keep persevering. Have joy in perseverance. Sharing the beautiful truth inside you is a great encouragement to your neighbors.

    • Don, thank you. I always love your insight, and this is no exception. You may have just earned yourself a quote in the book with this one: “It is part of the vow we took to Christ when we said, ‘Yes, I do.'” That is beautiful!

  3. Ally

    Great point/post!

  4. I’m here from Modern Mrs. Darcy and I admire this post. I’ve written down that Lamentations verse at the bottom of your post so that I can remember it. I think it’s awesome that you’re living your life on your and God’s terms!! And I totally agree that everyday is a choice–not just with the labels, but one’s attitude. I think attitude is everything.

    • Hi Emily, thanks for your kind comment! I just read your post as well, and I think you’re such a wise young woman! I love your perspective, and I think you’re totally on the right track, trusting God with your future spouse. Don’t let the pressure of time or age change your convictions. Blessings to you!

  5. “Married or single, we’re all waiting on something. God chose a unique journey for each of us.”

    Allison, this is so true–and I’m so sorry that so many of my single friends agree that they feel reduced to this *one* thing they’re waiting on far too often!

    • Anne, thank you for stopping by and sharing your thoughts! Yes, I think it’s a daily battle to remember truth and not define our worth and value based on our single status. Love your blog!!

  6. Allison — I too have fought the “single lady” label and, like you, when I have a chance to publicly speak, I stress that we all have limits (this is an idea from Pete Scazzareo) and it’ natural to want to buck against them (as we try to be God). I’m on the Everything Launch team too, that’s how I found you 🙂

  7. Amy

    Hi Allison, I just left a comment but it seemed to disappear. Long story short, I too preach the message of limits — that no matter who you are or what your life status is, we all have limits. I found you through the Everything launch team!

    • Amy, I’m so sorry! Your comments got caught in my spam filter for some reason. I have freed them, and I’m so glad we’ve “met” through the Everything team as well! Love your comments and insight. Thanks for stopping by!

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