Tag Archives: My musings

April 9, 2010 · 9:03 pm

Mile 10

You probably don’t know this since I haven’t blogged in a blue forever, but I’m training for a half marathon!

I ran 10.2 miles this afternoon. It was my longest run ever. I realize more and more that when people say it’s mostly mental, they are right. The days I set out to run 3 miles, I can run just 3 miles. The days I set out to run 8, when I get to that 3-mile mark, my mind knows I still have 5 to go. So, I don’t let myself get tired. I have to mentally prepare to run that next 5 miles.

During mile 9 of my most recent run, I started thinking about a lot of things.

I have been running on one of Nashville’s “greenways”, so there are lots of people walking—with strollers, dogs, etc.—and lots of people biking and running. When, I pass other people on my run, they have no idea whether I’m on mile 2 or mile 10. Honestly, I look about the same on both miles. I definitely don’t feel the same on the inside. I’m fairly miserable by mile 10 and hurting badly. I want it to be over. However, from outside appearances, I could be on mile 2.

This made me think about life. When we encounter people, we don’t know if they are on mile 2, mile 10, or somewhere between. We don’t know how long their sneakers have been hitting that pavement over and over.

We don’t know if she has wanted a baby for 5 years but struggled with infertility.

We don’t know if she was ready to be married 10 years ago but is still waiting for God to provide that right match.

We don’t know if he has waited 7 years to reconcile with a family member who isn’t open to reconciliation.

We can’t judge how long each has carried those burdens, how long each has waited on God to answer that specific prayer.

But God knows.

Let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. (Hebrews 12:1)

My race (and your race) has been specifically marked out by God. Even before I was born, he knew the challenges I would encounter and the specific struggles I would face.

But I don’t have to do it alone.

Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. (Hebrews 12:2)

Consider what Jesus faced. For his entire life, he knew that mile 10 was coming. He knew that his destiny was the cross. That is absolutely unimaginable. He endured that cross for us.

I don’t know how much longer my shoes will hit the pavement…
I don’t know how many more miles I will have to go…
I don’t know how much longer I will have to wait for that answered prayer.

But I plan to keep my eyes on Jesus. Because if anyone understands, he does.

4 Comments

Filed under Faith, God, Running

Tagged as My musings, Running

November 8, 2009 · 3:36 pm

The Month That Was October

October has always been “my” month. It’s my birthday month and my favorite time of the year because of the gorgeous weather, autumn leaves, and excitement about the upcoming holiday season.

Thus, I always get a little selfish during October. I only do the things I really want to do. This year, that did not involve writing. At all. Not a single blog post or article or devotional. Looking back, I think I needed a break from the pressure I often put on myself. I love to write–until it becomes something on my task list instead of something that flows natural from experiencing life.

So, what did I do during October?

* Turned 34 years old; how is that possible? Most days, I feel younger/better now that I did when I was 25.

* Finished my consulting project and gained some much needed downtime.

* Went on a relaxing vacation with my family to Gulf Shores; it was my niece’s first trip to the beach!

* Chaired an event for Preston Taylor Ministries that turned out beautifully (if I do say so myself!); it was the annual fall dinner banquet to honor PTM volunteers and celebrate joy-filled friendships.

* Spent time repenting and extracting myself from some commitments that I placed on myself but that God wasn’t calling me to do/continue. There are so many good things that I can do, but I find myself filling up my schedule with these things and ignoring God nudging me in another direction.

* Starting jogging/running. I will pause here to let that sink in (for those of you who know me and wonder who just hijacked this blog post). I have always wanted to run, but never really believed I could do it. I would start a program and give up every time it became difficult (which was always in the first half mile). But someone special in my life convinced me that I could do it. And for some reason, his unwavering belief in me carried me through the tough start. I am now up to 4 miles (and loving it) and I plan to run the Boulevard Bolt on Thanksgiving morning!

Now you are caught up on me, for the most part. How was your October?

Hoping that November brings with it a renewed zeal for writing in my life and lots of time to reflect on our sovereign God.

allisonsign

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Filed under Family, My Crazy Life, Photos, Travel

Tagged as My musings, Travel

September 11, 2009 · 8:15 am

Extending Grace Part 1 – When I Am Falsely Accused

After a hectic day at work, I go outside to take my dog for a walk. Ambling around the neighborhood in our usual circle, an irritated voice pulls me out of my thoughts. Although the voice is not very loud at first, I have a sense that it’s meant for me. I locate the source—a lady yelling down at me from the third story of our neighboring condo building.

I slowly realize what is going on. She is reprimanding me and telling me to pick up after my dog if I’m going to walk on “their lawn”. Surprised and speechless, I simply hold up the bag full of doggie-poo that I had scooped up just moments before. She barely yells “thanks” before slamming the window and closing the drapes.

I immediately start to feel violated. I was too shocked to even defend myself. My mind races with all of the things I want to run and tell this lady. From “of course I clean up after my dog” to “I always follow the rules at our condo” to “how dare you yell from your window and accuse an innocent person of something like that?” I get all worked up in about 45 seconds flat.

It’s just a silly little neighborhood misunderstanding. But in my mind, I have the right to walk my dog without being falsely accused. I start condemning her attitude and her actions.

In instances such as this, I still act like the unmerciful servant that Jesus introduces in Matthew 18. You know the guy. He owes the king a crazy amount of money, an amount that he could not work off in a lifetime. He falls on his knees and begs the king for more time, for an opportunity to pay back what he owes. The king takes pity on him and cancels his debt entirely. The king shows mercy even though the servant doesn’t deserve it. And then the servant struts out of the palace and grabs the first guy he sees—one who owes him a small amount of money. This debtor also begs for mercy yet the servant has him thrown into prison.

I read this story and initially think the servant is such an idiot. The guy’s debt was just cancelled by a merciful king and he immediately turns around and sends a fellow servant to jail for a tiny amount of money. How could he be so hard-hearted? And then I realize the truth. I am that idiot.

I am the one who has been forgiven much, but I still turn around and condemn others. I think that I have a right to be treated fairly. I don’t deserve to be falsely accused. But . . .

Jesus wasn’t treated fairly.

He was falsely accused.

He willingly sacrificed his life to pay my debt.

And he whispers in my ear, “Show her grace because I have shown you grace”.

allisonsign

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Filed under Extending Grace, Faith, God

Tagged as Grace, My musings

September 9, 2009 · 8:45 pm

Extending Grace

As a very justice-oriented person, I often struggle with the concept of extending grace.

When something happens to me that I consider unjust, I get angry.

When I am wrongly accused
When I am not rightly acknowledged
When another driver believes he is entitled to cut in front of me
When someone at the end of the line gets chosen before me

Why does it bother me so? It feels like someone is taking something that is rightfully mine.

In one of my favorite books, The Shack, William Paul Young says,

“Rights are where survivors go, so that they won’t have to work out relationships.”

and

“Jesus didn’t hold on to any rights; he willingly became a servant . . . He gave up everything, so that by his dependent life he opened a door that would allow you to live free enough to give up your rights.”

Through the sacrifice that Jesus made on the cross, I am forgiven for so much. God’s grace covers every last bit of my ugly sin. Not just once but over and over again. He extends infinite grace to me, yet I go about daily life clinging to my rights and demanding justice.

God is teaching me to live freely through him. I am slowly learning to let go of my rights. As life occurs, he whispers “show grace”. Show grace to your friends, show grace to your neighbors, show grace to your co-workers, show grace to complete strangers, show grace to yourself.

He is changing me. And I want to share my stories with you.

The fine print: Since there is a lot more that I want to share about this topic, I am making my first attempt at writing a blog series. I will be writing about how God is teaching me to extend grace in various areas of my life. I can’t promise a post per day, but there will be at least 3 future posts on this topic in the next couple of weeks. Check back on Friday for Part 1. If you want to subscribe via email or RSS feed so that you won’t miss a post, there are now buttons on the right sidebar. Thanks for joining in the fun!

allisonsign